DBB – Chapter 040: Illness

After the Flower Festival¹ in early spring, the weather gradually warmed. The maids and older servants had replaced their padded jackets, and the early blossoms from Jinchao’s greenhouse were moved out. She sent several pots of peonies to Ji Shi’s quarters and a few white camellias to her father. In her own courtyard, the grapevines had begun sprouting new leaves, climbing up a wooden trellis by the pond. Underneath the trellis, she placed a few pots of lotus petal orchids, creating a harmonious and picturesque scene.

Since Concubine Luo was unfamiliar with the other concubines, she rarely had much to say to them. Whenever Gu Deshao left for court, she would visit Jinchao to chat.

Watching as Jinchao arranged the flowers, Concubine Luo found it amusing and chuckled. “…You’ve turned your courtyard into the retreat of a reclusive scholar.”

Jinchao smiled faintly. “It’s just a way to pass the time. If you like it, I can move some flowers to your quarters.”

Concubine Luo’s eyes lit up. “The two pale green camellias in your greenhouse are lovely.”

Jinchao instructed a maid to send them to Concubine Luo’s residence. These flowers had been a gift from her maternal grandmother and had just begun to bloom. She also handed over a plate of elm seed cakes. “These were made fresh this morning—elm seeds picked at dawn, mixed with egg and flour to make pancakes. Try some.”

Concubine Luo smiled as she accepted them. “Back home, we had two elm trees. In spring, my aunt would lay a mat under them, and as the wind blew, the elm seeds would fall like rain. She used to make elm seed porridge for me…”

Her voice trailed off as she turned to look at the bright red Chinese flowering quince blossoms nearby. Her expression suddenly dimmed.

She was still young. It was only natural for her to miss home.

Jinchao gently reassured her, “There’s an elm tree near Father’s Juyliu Pavilion. If you want to see the elm seed rain, you can go there.”

By midday, Gu Deshao was due to return from court, so Concubine Luo took her leave and returned to Jingan Courtyard.

Jinchao washed her hands, preparing to bring the fresh elm seed cakes to Ji Shi. But before she could leave, Yuzhu suddenly ran out from the greenhouse, her face full of urgency.

“Miss… hurry, come take a look! There’s a hole in the greenhouse corner!”

A hole?

Jinchao was puzzled but followed Yuzhu inside, accompanied by Qingpu and Baiyun.

“…I only noticed it when I moved the camellias just now,” Yuzhu explained, pointing at the shelf where the flowers had been placed. “It’s as big as a person’s head.”

Jinchao bent down slightly, but Qingpu quickly stepped forward to stop her. “Miss, please let me check first—it could be something dangerous.”

Jinchao nodded, reminding her to be careful.

Qingpu cautiously approached the flower shelf. The greenhouse was built with Korean paper windows covered with an additional layer of glass for insulation. However, this particular corner had no glass, and the paper window had been torn, leaving a hole the size of a person’s head.

Just then, a faint rustling noise came from beneath the shelf.

Startled, Qingpu stepped back immediately.

Jinchao focused her hearing and soon identified the sound—it was similar to a cat’s meow.

Ignoring Qingpu’s attempt to hold her back, she waved a hand. “It’s fine.”

She pulled the flower shelf aside.

There, in the shadowed corner, was a disheveled nest of dried grass and tattered cloth strips. Nestled within was a tiny kitten with yellow-and-white fur, its tail trembling as it curled up into itself.

“A kitten? That’s what scared you, Qingpu?” Baiyun teased, laughing lightly. Qingpu was usually so composed—this was a rare sight.

The others chuckled along with her.

Jinchao smirked. “Back when we visited Grandmother’s estate, you weren’t even afraid to catch a venomous snake. And now you’re frightened by a kitten?”

Qingpu’s face reddened slightly. It had been years since she last encountered a snake.

“Miss, what should we do with it?” Yuzhu asked.

Jinchao hesitated. “The mother cat must have snuck in, finding the greenhouse warm enough to give birth. Let’s wait and see if she returns to take her kitten away.”

Yuzhu frowned. “I heard from my grandmother that if a kitten sees humans, the mother cat won’t take it back…”

Jinchao pondered for a moment but decided to wait. They carefully repositioned the flower shelf to cover the nest and left it alone.

However, by nightfall, the mother cat still hadn’t returned. The tiny kitten mewled pitifully from hunger, its cries weakening by noon the next day.

Jinchao sighed and finally relented. “Bring it out. Find a shallow basket and line it with several layers of cotton fabric to make a proper nest.”

Yuzhu, who had been anxiously checking on the kitten all day, brightened instantly. “Yes, Miss!” She rushed off to the side room, grabbing a basket before running back into the greenhouse.

When Tong Mama arrived, she was met with the sight of a frail little kitten, barely able to stand, curled inside the basket and lapping at a dish of milk.

Yuzhu crouched beside it, watching intently.

Jinchao sat on the large kang bed, working on her embroidery—an assignment from Madame Xue, a Baby Playing with Lotus design on a handkerchief.

“Miss, are you raising a cat now?” Tong Mama glanced at the tiny creature. “Why a stray kitten? If you wish to keep one, I can find you a fine white Persian instead.”

Jinchao chuckled. “I found it in the greenhouse yesterday. Might as well keep it for fun.”

She wasn’t interested in taking care of a pampered cat. Setting down her embroidery hoop, she looked at Tong Mama. “Did you need something?”

Tong Mama’s expression turned solemn. “Miss… I’ve just heard that Ji Shi was unable to sleep last night. She was coughing severely… I fear her condition has worsened again.”

Jinchao’s fingers stiffened.

Her heart pounded violently in her chest.

Today was the fourth of the third month… In her past life, her mother had died just over a month later!

She had assumed that Ji Shi’s illness had stabilized—hadn’t Physician Liu said that with careful treatment, she could live for several more years?

How had it worsened so quickly?

She urgently asked, “Has Physician Liu been called?”

Tong Mama hesitated. “Ji Shi ordered the maids to keep it from you all. If I hadn’t bribed one of the sweeping women, I wouldn’t have found out… She would never make a fuss by summoning Physician Liu herself.”

Jinchao bit her lip.

But before she could speak, Qingpu suddenly let out a startled cry.

“Miss—your hand! Let go of the needle!”

Jinchao’s grip tightened unconsciously, and before she realized it, the embroidery needle had pierced deep into her palm. Yet, she felt no pain at all.

Tong Mama was startled and quickly stepped forward, prying open Jinchao’s fingers while Qingpu carefully removed the needle. A bead of blood welled up instantly.

Yutong and Yuzhu dashed out to fetch medicine, but Jinchao simply grabbed a nearby cloth and wiped the blood away. “It’s just a small wound; no need for medicine.” Then, she turned to Tong Mama, her tone sharp and decisive. “Go to Father immediately. Have him send a carriage to bring Physician Liu at once.”

Then, turning to Qingpu, she ordered, “Come with me. We’re going to Mother’s residence.”

She stood up, but a deep chill spread through her heart. This was all her fault…

She had believed her mother’s condition had stabilized, assumed there was no imminent danger. These past few months, she had let her guard down.

Would Ji Shi still die on the eighteenth of the fourth month, just as before?

Would she have to watch helplessly, just like in her past life?

No.

Absolutely not.

Without hesitation, Tong Mama rushed to Juyliu Pavilion, while Jinchao, accompanied by Qingpu, hurried toward Ji Shi’s residence.

Before they even stepped inside, they could hear the muffled, raspy coughs from within.

Jinchao instantly recalled how, just yesterday, Ji Shi had sat with her for an entire hour, pretending nothing was wrong. How much pain must she have endured?

Outside, Moyu stood beneath the covered corridor, too stunned to stop Jinchao from rushing in.

Pushing past the curtains, Jinchao saw Ji Shi hunched over the bed, coughing violently. Beside her, Xu Mama was gently patting her back.

Ji Shi finally caught her breath and looked up, only to see her daughter silently standing there, watching her with wide, stricken eyes.

With a weak smile, Ji Shi gestured to Xu Mama. “Bring a stool for Jinchao.”

She spoke in a soft, tired voice. “I didn’t want to worry you for nothing… I won’t get better, no matter what.”

Jinchao’s throat tightened painfully.

She pressed her lips together, afraid that if she spoke, she would start crying.

Within moments, the concubines arrived, each expressing concern and assisting however they could—preparing tea, decocting medicine, and gently massaging Ji Shi’s back. It took an incense stick’s time before she was finally able to breathe a little easier.

At that moment, Physician Liu arrived with Gu Deshao.

Gu Deshao walked directly to Ji Shi’s bedside and, before speaking, waved for the concubines to leave. Only after they had withdrawn did he motion for Physician Liu to take Ji Shi’s pulse.

Ji Shi avoided looking at him.

Gu Deshao, however, did not take his eyes off her.

Then, without shifting his gaze, he said calmly, “Jinchao, leave the room.”

Jinchao looked toward Physician Liu, who stroked his beard and gave her a reassuring nod. Only then did she bow respectfully and step out.

Inside, Physician Liu spoke gravely. “Madam’s illness stems from prolonged emotional distress and anxiety, causing stagnation in her heart. Combined with improper diet and weak digestion, this has led to a relapse.”

He shook his head. “She is too frail now. We cannot use strong medicine. If her condition worsens even slightly, I will no longer be able to help… For now, I will prescribe gentle tonics to nourish her body, but special care must be taken with her diet to prevent further decline.”

Gu Deshao fell silent.

Was her condition truly this severe?

After a moment, he thanked the physician and sent him out.

Now alone with Ji Shi, he stood in place for a long while before finally speaking.

“You still resent me for taking concubines, don’t you?”

Ji Shi closed her eyes and smiled faintly. “Does it even matter whether I do or not?”

Gu Deshao exhaled heavily. “Luo Su was brought back by Jinchao, but I know it was your idea. I thought you had finally accepted it…”

He shook his head. “I’ve never liked this about you—always keeping your true feelings hidden, as if I have somehow wronged you.”

With that, he turned and strode out of the inner chamber.

Ji Shi opened her eyes, watching his retreating figure.

From the moment he had first taken Song Yiniang as a concubine, she had never protested. Later, she had even personally arranged for Concubine Du, Concubine Guo, and Concubine Yun to enter the household. She had never once uttered a complaint.

These things… she had always known in her heart—whether she was willing or not had never been hers to decide.It had never truly been her choice.

She had believed this was what it meant to be virtuous: to manage the household, to ensure he had sons, to help him marry beautiful women.

What more did he want from her?

1. The Flower Festival, known as Huazhao Festival, celebrates the birthday of the Flower Goddess (Huashen), who was traditionally believed to govern human fertility. Honoring her became a custom to invoke prosperity. Observed in the second lunar month, the festival includes offerings and springtime outings to welcome growth, beauty, and abundance. ↩︎